A budding journalist is allegedly killed by her own family for falling in love with a boy from another caste.
A young man, allegedly killed for having a relationship with a politician's daughter.
Scan the headlines,and there are growing numbers of honour crimes every day.
So is our better educated and liberal society of today indeed as brutal and archaic as it always was?
Has empowerment of women done nothing towards sensitising traditional patriarchal systems?
Shame and honour are still the only two important words to judge women?
In India still the honour of a household is inextricably linked to the reputation of the women who live there.Shame is an index of female reputation, just as honour is an index of male.
The concept of honor used to rationalize abuse and killing of women is founded on the idea that a family's honor depends on the behavior of it's women; behavior that must be controlled.
Women do not have a claim to honor as individuals, separate from their roles within a family, clan ,caste ,community or tribal unit. Any breach or suspected breach of sexual codes by these women is viewed as a potent assault on the "man's honor", the "family's honor".
To be rid of "shame" and restore "honor", the woman offender must be punished. Submissiveness in these cultures is considered equivalent to sexual purity.
Today when we send our daughters to study and work are we also ready to give them the right to make their own decisions.
The recent Nirupama Pathak's gruesome murder has only brought a mirror to us, to moms especially.
We have to view our shame and honor in new contexts and break the silence and the need to be accomplices in eradicating our own daughters.
Orange Flower Awards
Readers Loved These
I write about
2015 love April Blogging challenge daughter life memories women death girls hindi dad 2014 gender ratio soul poetry mom childhood death loneliness alone priyamvada delhi loneliness words. thoughts child words.thoughts Stream of consciousness heart rape answers lessons mother woman poet birthday blog women's day contest HAIKU blogoversary discrimination festival friends grief loss me memories mind papa religion sexual harrasment shimla winter cities lonely mom dad pain questions sufi writer diwali freedom god men patriarchy random thoughts sad violence brothers fear fog grandfather grandmother hope kids motherhood ritual summers writing basho book chandigarh children emily eyes facebook hills home husband kerouac light miss new year nostalgia paradoxes remember school sonee BOY WISHES dreams fairytale family freeze independence day jagjit singh longing nobody pyar rain reading shame short story worship 2011 9/11 GADGETS Ruskin Bond TV aazadi autumn colour daughter's day first frenemy happy history human joys kashmir krishna leader mother's day nest opposites plant small son teachers thoughts toddlers tragedy tree virginia woolf wife 2012 2013 Haider her tea